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Bad Days and Bad Timing
Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? I am quite capable of embarrassing myself. I don't know why my family members have to insist on doing it for me.
Bed Bugs Bite
I've been thinking for at least 32 seconds about the history of bed bugs and why they are among the most feared creatures in the world, and possibly in the universe, assuming that other worlds have beds. Think about it. We don't tell people, "Don't let the rabid dogs bite" or "Don't let the spiders bite" unless we're in the White House, in which case all warnings are figurative anyway. Everywhere else the line a person hears before sleeping is "Don't let the bed bugs bite," as if bed bugs are worse than the nightmare the person will likely have anyway...
Can't Get There From Here
Can you imagine living in a state where you cannot drive to the State Capital? But nobody really cares? Then they propose a road to the Capital and nobody really wants it!
Eye Spy Potatoes
Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years. This, in a lot of ways, is the pinnacle of laziness because the removal of contacts takes no more than a minute or two, or three hours if it's your first time.
How to Build a Cobblestone House
Three years of hard manual labor by you and several of your gullible friends and you can have a cobblestone house, just like pioneers to upstate New York in the early 1800s. Figuratively build your house then go see real ones with "Cobblestone Quest" a guide to 17 driving tours. Discover a folk art that has survived almosdt 200 years.
How To Get Attention, or: 'As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!'
Marketing is really all about getting attention. But how do you get it - should you yell and scream, or use more subtle methods; like hypnotizing people?
Hurricane Season In Florida
It is a humorous article on Hurricane Season In Florida.
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
A whimsical bank that just started on the Internet eliminates debt and loans. Won't touch 'um. No way, for nobody. That's because it rates a person's emotional health higher than their financial wealth.
Internet is My True Agent
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Vla...
Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp
Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats.
Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluf...
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